The upstanding citizen sex position is a face-to-face standing carry: one partner stands and holds the other's full weight, while the lifted partner wraps their legs around their waist and their arms around their shoulders. It asks for real leg strength, balance and trust, and rewards it with full-body closeness. Below: the setup, what it feels like for each of you, who tends to enjoy it, and easier versions for nights when carrying a whole person isn't on the menu.
How to Do the Upstanding Citizen Position: Step by Step
- Clear the space. Move loose rugs, cords and sharp-edged furniture. Stand barefoot on a non-slip floor, within a step of somewhere solid to lean or sit.
- Agree on a stop word. Something short like "down" means the lifted partner gets set down right away, no questions asked. A double tap on the shoulder works if talking is tricky.
- Start from a raised surface. The partner being lifted sits on the edge of a bed, counter or sturdy table at roughly the standing partner's hip height. This skips the risky floor-to-air hoist.
- Wrap and hold. The standing partner steps in close, feet hip-width or wider, knees soft. The lifted partner wraps their arms around the shoulders, not the neck, and their legs around the waist. The standing partner slides both hands under the thighs or buttocks.
- Lift with the legs. Chests stay close while the standing partner straightens their legs and takes one small step back. Back upright, no twisting.
- Settle, then move. Once you're both steady, guide penetration if you're including it. Small rocking or pressing works better than big thrusts, and the lifted partner can help by squeezing with their legs and core.
- Exit the way you came in. Step back to the bed or counter and set the lifted partner down on it, rather than squatting to the floor while carrying them.
Why the Upstanding Citizen Position Works
For the lifted partner
Being fully held is the draw. Many people describe feeling wrapped up and almost weightless, with the whole front of the body in contact. Gravity settles them onto their partner, so penetration can feel deep; start slowly. Rocking the hips may also add pressure against the vulva or pubic area, which some people enjoy.
For the standing partner
It's intense and athletic: you're carrying and moving at once, which some people find a big turn-on and others find distracting. Your hands are busy, so the rhythm comes mostly from small hip shifts and the lifted partner's legs. The payoff is constant eye contact and easy kissing.
Who tends to enjoy it most
Couples who like playful, slightly spontaneous sex (yes, the movie moment against the wall), where one partner can comfortably carry the other for a minute or two. It shines as a short interlude rather than a whole session.
Easier Alternatives and Variations
- Wall-supported lift. A wall behind the held partner's back takes over much of the weight and wobble. The best version to try first.
- One leg up. One foot stays grounded on the floor or a low step, so it's no longer a carry and strength matters much less.
- Counter or bed-edge version. Simply stay perched at step 3 and skip the lift; this is essentially the stand and deliver position.
- Seated version. Swap the carry for a sturdy chair: same embrace, a lap instead of arms, zero balance required.
For more in the same family, browse these standing positions.
Who Should Skip or Modify It
The full carry isn't a good fit if either of you has:
- back, knee, hip, shoulder or wrist pain, or a recent injury (the standing partner's lower back and the lifted partner's hips take the most strain)
- balance problems, vertigo or medication that causes dizziness
- a size or strength difference that turns the carry into a struggle
- a pregnancy (see the FAQ)
Picking something else from our lover's guide to sex positions isn't giving up. It's good sex sense.
Comfort, Safety and Consent
- Keep it short. Set the lifted partner down before arms or legs start shaking; fatigue is when falls happen. You can always lift again.
- Mind the neck. Hanging from the standing partner's neck strains it. Hold the shoulders or upper back instead.
- Use lube if penetration is involved, since you can't easily adjust angle mid-lift.
- Stay sober enough to balance. Alcohol and other substances slow reactions, and this position leaves little room for wobbling.
- Check in as you go. A quick "Still good?" keeps you both in charge. Either partner can use the stop word at any point, and because the lifted partner can't get down alone, honoring it immediately is non-negotiable.
Upstanding Citizen Position FAQ
Is the upstanding citizen position good for beginners?
Yes, if you start with the wall-supported or bed-edge version. Hold the lift for about 30 seconds before trying longer. If the carry still feels shaky, the one-leg or seated versions give you the same closeness without the strain.
Is it safe during pregnancy?
The full lift is best skipped during pregnancy. Balance shifts, ligaments loosen and a fall carries real risk. The seated version or side-lying positions are usually more comfortable; check with your midwife or doctor if you have specific concerns.
How is it different from the stand and deliver position?
In stand and deliver, a table or bed carries the receiving partner's weight; in the upstanding citizen, the standing partner does. That makes stand and deliver easier to hold for longer, while the upstanding citizen offers more full-body contact. Many couples switch between the two: start on the counter, lift for a minute, set down again.
Does a big height or weight difference rule it out?
Not necessarily, but it changes which version works. A much taller standing partner has to bend their knees more and tires faster; the wall and counter versions solve most of this. If the carry feels like a strain, choose the seated version.
Can you do it without penetration?
Yes, and it's a lovely way to start. The embrace works for kissing, grinding or hands-on touch, and it takes the pressure off getting the angle right. Many couples use a quick lift as playful foreplay before moving to the bed.
