The Full Nelson takes its name from a wrestling hold. In wrestling, one person stands behind the other, slides their arms under the other's armpits and clasps their hands behind the other's neck. In the bedroom version, the receiving partner lies back against the giving partner's chest with their legs lifted. The giver hooks their arms under the receiver's knees and clasps their hands behind the receiver's upper back or neck, which holds the receiver's legs high and open. The result is a deep, close, rear-entry angle with a lot of skin contact. It works for vaginal or anal sex, and with a penis, strap-on or toy. It suits couples who like feeling held and who are fine with one partner having limited movement.
One honest note before we start: the version you may have seen in porn, done standing with the receiver's head pushed forward, puts a lot of strain on the neck and back. The steps below keep the closeness of the hold without that strain.
How to Do the Full Nelson Step by Step
- Set up the base. The giver sits back against a headboard or a stack of firm pillows, reclining at roughly 45 degrees, with their legs stretched out or slightly bent.
- Settle in. The receiver lies back on the giver's torso, facing away, with their hips resting between the giver's thighs. Get penetration started now, using plenty of lubricant (and always for anal), before adding the hold.
- Lift the legs. The receiver bends their knees and draws them up toward their chest. The giver threads each arm under the receiver's knees, from the outside in.
- Clasp gently. The giver brings their hands together behind the receiver's upper back, at shoulder-blade level. The hands rest there and never press the head forward. Holding each other's forearms works too.
- Move together. Since the receiver's legs are held, most of the movement comes from the giver rocking their hips or gently lifting and lowering. Start shallow and slow. The angle is deep, so build up gradually.
3 Full Nelson Variations
1. Half Nelson
The giver hooks only one of the receiver's knees and leaves the other foot resting on the bed. This means less stretch in the hips and an easy way to adjust, and it frees the giver's other hand for touching, including clitoral or genital stimulation.
2. Self-Held Nelson
Same reclined setup, but the receiver holds the backs of their own knees. The receiver controls exactly how far their legs open and can let go at any moment. The giver's hands are free to wander. This is a good first try if a full hold feels like too much.
3. Face-to-Face Legs-Back
Some people use the Full Nelson name for this one. The receiver lies on their back with their knees drawn toward their chest (held by themselves or supported on the giver's shoulders), and the giver kneels in front. You lose the wrestling-style hug but gain eye contact and kissing, and it's easier on a lighter or smaller giver.
Making It More Comfortable
- Pillows are your friend. Put one behind the giver's lower back and a small one under the receiver's hips to fine-tune the angle.
- Mind the weight. If the receiver is heavier, the giver's chest and arms tire fast. Recline the giver further back or switch to the self-held variation.
- Warm up first. Hip and hamstring flexibility matters here. Lots of arousal and foreplay beforehand make deep angles far more comfortable.
- Lube and protection. Reapply lubricant often. Use condoms or other barriers for STI protection, and fit a fresh condom when switching from anal to vaginal penetration.
- Take breaks. Holding the legs folded tires out arms and hips. Drop into spooning or regular missionary whenever you need a breather.
When the Full Nelson Isn't for You
- Neck, shoulder or upper-back problems in either partner. The clasp and the leg weight load these areas, so skip the hold or use the self-held variation.
- Hip, knee or lower-back pain. Deep hip flexion can aggravate it. Stop at any sharp or pinching pain, not just at "too much."
- Pregnancy. Folding the knees toward the chest compresses the belly, and lying flat on the back gets uncomfortable as pregnancy goes on. Side-lying positions are usually kinder. Check with your doctor or midwife if you're unsure.
- Pain with deep penetration. If deep thrusting hurts, this angle will likely make it worse. Choose a shallower position, and talk to a healthcare provider if the pain keeps coming back.
Communication and Consent
A hold that limits how much one person can move is a mild form of restraint, so agree on how it works before you start. Talk about how tight the hold should be, where the hands go and how deep is okay. Pick a stop signal that doesn't depend on speaking, such as two taps on the giver's arm, and agree that it means letting go immediately, no questions asked. Check in during sex too: a quick "more or less?" keeps it hot and honest. And if either of you simply doesn't enjoy it, that's a complete answer.
FAQ
Is the Full Nelson only for anal sex?
No. It works for vaginal sex, anal sex and toy play. Many people prefer it for vaginal penetration because the reclined angle can reach the front wall of the vagina.
Do both partners need to be strong or flexible?
Not with the reclined setup. The bed takes the giver's weight, and the half or self-held variations cut down on how much the receiver needs to stretch. Strength mainly matters in the standing version, which we don't recommend for beginners.
Can any couple try it?
Yes, whatever your genders and body types. With a strap-on or toy, anyone can take the giving role. Adjust pillows and choose a variation that fits your bodies.
