The north south sex position puts both partners on their backs with heads at opposite ends of the bed and pelvises meeting in the middle, like two needles on a compass. Once you're set up it's slow, playful and surprisingly relaxed. The catch is that the penis angles back toward the penetrating partner's feet, so technique matters more than flexibility. Here's how to get into it, how deep it really goes, and which pillows do the heavy lifting.
How to Do the North South Position: Step by Step
A quick note on names: "north south" is also used for head-to-toe oral sex (69). This guide covers the penetrative version, which some guides call the X position. You start face to face and end up lying in opposite directions. Use a bed and take it slowly.
- Start in a straddle. The penetrating partner lies on their back in the middle of the bed, legs extended. The receiving partner straddles their hips, facing them, knees on the mattress.
- Enter while upright. Guide penetration while the receiving partner is still sitting up. This is the easiest and safest angle for entry.
- Lean back in stages. The receiving partner puts their hands on the bed behind them, then lowers onto their forearms, and only lies all the way back if it feels good. Their legs slide forward alongside the penetrating partner's torso. Their head now points toward their partner's feet.
- Settle in. Shuffle until your hips sit snugly together and nobody is twisted. Each of you rests on the mattress, not on the other person.
- Rock, don't thrust. Hold hands or clasp forearms and grind or rock in small movements. The receiving partner sets the range.
You can also get there from missionary: the penetrating partner kneels, enters, then leans back onto their hands and lies down. It's the same end shape, but control passes to whoever is reclining.
Why the North South Position Works
Unlike the missionary position, nobody holds their weight up once you're settled, so it can last longer than more athletic positions. Hands are free, which makes it easy to add fingers or a small vibrator on the clitoris or vulva. Clasped hands also give you leverage for rocking. The backward angle may press along the front wall of the vagina, and some people find that hits a sensitive spot. Others mostly enjoy an unusual, stretchy fullness. Either way, it's a fun one for your list of sex positions to try.
4 North South Position Variations to Try
- Fully reclined. The flat finish of step 3: the most novel feel and the most strain, so save it until the gentler versions feel easy.
- Propped recline. A stack of pillows or a wedge stops the descent halfway, trading some novelty for more control.
- Rowing. Both of you sit halfway up, clasp forearms and take turns pulling, so the movement is shared and you keep eye contact.
- Side tilt. Roll partly onto the same side with legs scissored to unload the spine and the erection. It sits halfway to the scissor position.
Who the North South Position Suits (and Who Should Skip It)
It suits couples who like a slow, grinding rhythm more than thrusting, people who want their hands free for extra stimulation, and bodies that tire quickly in positions that need kneeling or arm support.
Modify it or choose something else if:
- The penetrating partner has Peyronie's disease, a past penile injury, or an erection that bends easily. The backward angle adds strain. Stick to the side tilt or pick another position.
- Hips or hamstrings are tight. The propped recline keeps the legs from stretching out fully. If it still pulls, skip it.
- The lower back aches when arched. Leaning back can arch the receiving partner's spine, so put pillows under their back or tilt to the side.
North South Comfort, Safety and Consent
- Protect the penis. Bending is the main risk here. If it slips out, go back to step 2 rather than forcing it back in. A popping sound, sudden sharp pain, or quick loss of erection with swelling needs urgent medical care, because it can mean a penile fracture. With a strap-on there's no fracture risk, but go just as slowly for comfort.
- Let props do the stretching. Pillows set a limit on the recline, a firm cushion under the lower partner's pelvis softens the curve, and a folded towel supports any neck that tips back.
- Lube generously. The angle adds friction.
- Agree on a stop signal. Eye contact is hard here, so settle on a word or a double tap on the hand before you start, and check in out loud: "Less lean?" "Slower?" Either of you can stop at any moment, no explanation needed.
North South Position FAQ
Is the north south position good for beginners?
It works better as a second step than a first try. Entry and the lean-back take some coordination, and the penis angle needs attention. If you already enjoy positions with the receiving partner on top, start with the propped recline and you'll get the feel quickly.
Can you do the north south position during pregnancy?
Possibly, in the propped or side-tilt variation and only with your healthcare provider's okay. From mid-pregnancy, lying flat on the back for long stretches is often discouraged because the uterus can press on a major blood vessel. Keep the pregnant partner semi-upright or tilted, and stop if there's dizziness, pain or pressure.
How deep does the north south position go?
Usually shallow to moderate. The backward angle and the thighs between you limit depth, which many people with a sensitive cervix appreciate. A pillow under the penetrating partner's hips can add a little, but never chase depth by leaning back further. If you want deep penetration, choose a different position.
How is the north south position different from the scissor position?
The scissor position is side-lying, while north south is back-lying with a backward penis angle. In scissor, the penis stays closer to its natural direction, so it's gentler and easier to learn. The side-tilt variation above is a handy bridge between the two.
