The crossbar sex position sets your bodies at an angle across each other instead of stacking them face to face. One partner lies on their back. The other kneels beside their hips, straddling one leg, and the receiving partner's free leg rests across the kneeling partner's body. You get a fresh angle of entry, simple depth control and plenty of room for hands. It looks trickier than it is, and most couples get it right by the second try.
A quick note on the name: "Crossbar" is used loosely online and often gets mixed up with the Crossbow. In this guide it means the crosswise setup below, where the receiving partner lies on their back.
How to Do the Crossbar Position Step by Step
- Pick a firm surface. A firm mattress or a padded floor works best. A saggy sofa makes kneeling wobbly. The receiving partner lies on their back and turns their hips slightly away from the side where their partner will kneel.
- One leg straight, one bent. The receiving partner keeps the leg nearest their partner straight on the bed and bends the other knee.
- Kneel and straddle. The penetrating partner kneels at the receiving partner's hips, angled across their body. One of their knees goes between the receiving partner's thighs and the other goes outside the straight leg. Each of you supports your own weight. Nobody leans on anybody.
- Rest the bent leg across. The receiving partner's bent leg rests against the kneeling partner's hip or chest. The kneeling partner can steady it with a hand. Guide it, never pull it.
- Enter slowly, then set the depth. Start shallow and talk about how the angle feels. You control depth in two ways: how close the kneeling partner moves in, and how high the resting leg sits. A leg resting low and loose usually keeps things shallower. A leg drawn up toward the kneeling partner's chest usually allows deeper penetration.
Why the Crossbar Position Works
- A different angle. Entry comes in at a diagonal rather than straight on, so pressure falls on different internal walls. For some people that may mean more contact with the G-spot or A-spot area, or with the prostate during anal sex. For others it simply feels new, and that's a perfectly good reason too.
- Free hands. The receiving partner's hands are completely free for clitoral touch, a toy or reaching for their partner. The kneeling partner keeps at least one hand free.
- You can see each other. You aren't chest to chest, but faces and bodies stay in view, and a small turn of the head is enough for eye contact.
Crossbar Position Variations
Once the basic version feels easy, these change how each of you is supported, not just the scenery.
Side-Lying Crossbar
Same setup as above, except the person underneath rolls all the way onto one side. It's the gentlest version for lower backs.
Edge-of-Bed Crossbar
Move to the edge of the mattress so the top partner can stand on the floor instead of kneeling. A cushion evens out any height gap. If you enjoy this one, explore more standing sex positions.
Leg-on-Shoulder Crossbar
The resting leg moves up onto the kneeling partner's shoulder. This is the deepest version and needs flexible hamstrings and hips, so ease in and lower the leg at the first hint of strain.
Who the Crossbar Suits and When to Skip It
The Crossbar suits partners of any gender or orientation who want a new angle without acrobatics, and anyone who likes their hands free during sex. It is probably not for you if:
- Your knees hurt when kneeling. Try the Edge-of-Bed version instead.
- You have lower back or hip pain or limited hip rotation. Use the Side-Lying version and keep the leg low.
- You've recently had hip surgery. Bringing a bent leg across the body is a movement surgeons often restrict, so check with your clinician first.
- Having a leg held feels confining. Rest the leg on a pillow instead, or choose another position.
Comfort, Safety and Consent
A few props do most of the work. Put a pillow under the receiving partner's hips to adjust the angle and another under the resting leg. A folded blanket or yoga mat goes under the kneeling partner's knees. Use plenty of lube, and treat it as essential for anal sex.
A gentle pull in a muscle is a stretch. Sharp, pinching, burning or numb sensations are pain, and pain means stop. Pause, lower the leg, add support or change variations. Check in as you go with questions like "Is this leg okay?" or "Deeper or keep it here?" Agree on a non-verbal stop signal too, like two taps on the arm, which either of you can use at any time. Pausing to adjust is part of good sex, not a failure.
Related Positions
If the Crossbar clicks for you, try the Crossbow, its side-lying cousin, or rear-entry spooning for a similarly relaxed angle. For more ideas, browse our guide to the types of sex positions.
Crossbar Position FAQ
Is the Crossbar position good for beginners?
Yes, the basic version is beginner-friendly because nobody has to balance or hold up anyone else's weight. Start with the leg resting low and a pillow under the hips. Save the Leg-on-Shoulder version for later.
Can you do the Crossbar position during pregnancy?
The Side-Lying Crossbar is usually the better choice during pregnancy. Many clinicians advise against lying flat on your back for long stretches from around the middle of pregnancy, and the side-lying version also keeps pressure off the bump. If your pregnancy is high-risk or you've been told to avoid sex, check with your midwife or doctor first.
How is the Crossbar different from the Crossbow?
The main difference is how the receiving partner lies: on their back in the Crossbar, fully on their side in the Crossbow. The straddled leg and the resting leg work much the same way, which is why the names get mixed up. The Side-Lying Crossbar is very close to a Crossbow.
What if the receiving partner's leg gets tired?
Rest the leg on a pillow or along the kneeling partner's thigh instead of keeping it raised. Lowering the leg also makes penetration a little shallower, which can be a welcome breather. This is sex, not an endurance test.
Can we switch sides during the Crossbar position?
Yes, but pause and reset rather than trying to roll over mid-move. The setup is asymmetrical, so the kneeling partner moves to the other side and the straight and bent legs swap. Switching also gives a tired hip a rest.
