The Bandoleer is a face-to-face position where the receiving partner lies on their back with their knees pulled toward their chest and their feet resting flat against the penetrating partner's chest, while the penetrating partner kneels and lifts the receiver's hips onto their thighs. Folding the receiver's legs creates a snug, deep angle, and both of you can see each other's faces the whole time. It works for vaginal or anal sex, with a penis or a strap-on, and suits couples who like deep sensation and the receiver has decent hip flexibility.
What the Bandoleer Position Looks Like
Think of it as missionary turned on its side. The receiver lies flat and draws their knees up. The penetrating partner kneels upright between the receiver's legs, and the receiver's lower back and bottom rest on the kneeling partner's thighs. The receiver's feet rest on their partner's chest, so the receiver's legs act as a gentle brace between you. Because of that brace, the receiver can push lightly with their feet to set the depth.
How to Do the Bandoleer Step by Step
- Set up the base. The receiver lies on their back on a firm mattress, with a pillow under their head if they want one.
- Kneel in close. The penetrating partner kneels between the receiver's legs, knees spread about hip-width, sitting back slightly toward their heels.
- Lift the hips. The receiver bends their knees toward their chest. Their partner slides forward and gently lifts the receiver's hips so the receiver's bottom rests on their thighs.
- Place the feet. The receiver puts the soles of their feet flat on their partner's chest. Their knees stay bent and roughly in line with their shoulders, not squashed into the ribs.
- Add lube and enter slowly. Use plenty of lubricant (always for anal) and a condom or other barrier unless you have both chosen otherwise with up-to-date STI testing. Start shallow and slow, because this angle feels deeper than it looks.
- Find a rhythm. The kneeling partner can hold the receiver's hips or thighs for stability. Small rocking movements usually work better than long thrusts.
3 Bandoleer Variations
1. Half Bandoleer
The receiver keeps one foot on their partner's chest and lets the other leg rest flat on the bed or out to the side. This is gentler on the hips and lower back, and the angle is a little less intense. It's a good place to start if you're unsure how the full fold will feel.
2. Edge-of-the-Bed Bandoleer
The receiver lies with their hips at the edge of the bed, and the penetrating partner stands or kneels on a cushion on the floor. That takes weight off the receiver's lower back, because the mattress supports them, and spares the standing partner's knees. Check that the heights line up before you start. A firm cushion under the receiver's hips can help.
3. Shoulder-Rest Bandoleer
Instead of pressing their feet on their partner's chest, the receiver rests their ankles or calves on their partner's shoulders. The fold is deeper and so is the penetration, so this one is for flexible bodies and partners who already know they enjoy depth. Go slowly and back off at the first sign of hip or hamstring strain.
Making It More Comfortable
- Prop the hips. A firm pillow or wedge under the receiver's lower back takes strain off the spine and means less lifting for the kneeling partner.
- Protect the knees. The kneeling partner can use a folded blanket or a softer surface, or move to the edge-of-bed variation.
- Use the feet as a dial. The receiver can push gently with their feet to make penetration shallower whenever they want. Agree on this before you start so it reads as a signal, not a surprise.
- Add clitoral stimulation. Many people with a vulva need direct clitoral contact to orgasm, and depth alone often isn't enough. The receiver's hands are free for their own touch or a small vibrator, and the kneeling partner can reach too.
- Take breaks. Holding the fold gets tiring. Lowering the legs into missionary for a minute and then returning is completely normal.
When the Bandoleer Isn't for You
Skip it or switch to the half variation if the receiver has lower-back problems, a hip injury or replacement, or tight hamstrings that make the fold painful. The kneeling partner's knees and lower back also take a load, so the edge-of-bed version is kinder for anyone with knee trouble. During pregnancy, pulling the knees toward the belly gets uncomfortable as the bump grows, and lying flat on the back for long stretches is generally not advised later in pregnancy. Side-lying or receiver-on-top positions are usually better choices, and your midwife or doctor can advise on anything specific to you. Sharp or deep pain is a stop signal, not something to push through, because deep angles can bump the cervix or irritate sensitive tissue.
Communication and Consent
In this position the receiver can't easily move away, so agree before you start on a clear word or tap that means "stop" or "slower", and make sure it's honoured right away. Being face to face makes it easy to check in with a look or a quick "How's this?" Either of you can change your mind at any point, including halfway through, and that's always fine.
FAQ
Is the Bandoleer the same as missionary?
It's a close relative. In missionary the receiver's legs are usually down or wrapped around their partner, and the penetrating partner leans over them. In the Bandoleer the receiver's knees are folded up with their feet on their partner's chest, and the penetrating partner stays upright on their knees.
Can people with very different heights do it?
Usually, yes. The kneeling partner can sit further back or further forward on their heels, and a pillow under the receiver's hips fine-tunes the angle.
Can we use toys in this position?
Yes. A small bullet or wand vibrator held against the clitoris fits easily between your bodies. Clean toys properly, and use a fresh condom on any toy that moves between partners or between anal and vaginal use.
