The Face Off is a seated, face-to-face sex position. One partner sits on a sturdy chair or the edge of the bed, and the other straddles their lap facing them. You're chest to chest and eye to eye with your hands free, so it's a slow, close and very kissable position for couples of any gender mix.
The partner on top usually sets the pace by rising, lowering or grinding. The seated partner has a backrest and both hands free for holding, guiding and touching. It works with a penis or a strap-on, and it works just as well without penetration, as pure grinding.
How to Do the Face Off Position
- Pick a stable seat. Use a solid, armless chair without wheels, or the edge of a firm bed or sofa. Make sure it can safely hold both of your weights. The seated partner sits back with their feet flat on the floor.
- Climb on facing them. The partner on top straddles the seated partner's thighs. Keep your feet on the floor, or kneel on the seat if there's room on either side of their hips.
- Line up slowly. If you're including penetration, add plenty of lube and lower yourself gradually, guiding with a hand. The person on top controls the depth, so start shallow.
- Find your rhythm. Rock your hips forward and back, roll them in circles, or lift and lower using your legs. The seated partner can support you by holding your hips or lower back.
- Use your free hands. Either of you can reach between your bodies to touch the clitoris or penis, or slip in a small toy.
5 Face Off Variations
1. Chest to Chest
The partner on top wraps their arms around the seated partner's neck or shoulders and presses in close. Movement gets smaller and grindier, which many people with a vulva find better for clitoral contact than big up-and-down strokes.
2. Lean Back
The partner on top leans back with their hands on the seated partner's knees, or the seated partner holds their lower back. This changes the angle of penetration and opens up space for hands or a toy between you. Only lean as far as your core and your partner's grip comfortably allow.
3. Edge of the Bed
The seated partner sits on the edge of the bed with their feet on the floor. The partner on top kneels on the mattress on either side of their hips. Your knees are on something soft and you can easily topple sideways into cuddling afterwards.
4. Side-Lying Face Off
This is the low-effort version. Lie on your sides facing each other, with the upper leg of one partner draped over the other's hip. Nobody holds any weight, so it's good for tired legs, sore knees or a lazy morning. Penetration is shallower here and the movement is gentle.
5. Toy-Assisted
Place a small vibrator between your bodies, or have the seated partner hold a wand against the clitoris while the partner on top moves. A vibrating ring on a penis or strap-on keeps your hands free. Keep the toy on a low setting at first, because there isn't much room to escape if it's too intense.
Making It More Comfortable
- Height mismatch: a firm cushion under the partner on top, or a lower seat for the seated partner, helps line up your hips.
- Knees: if you're kneeling on the bed, put a pillow under your knees. If you're on a chair, keep your feet on the floor so your thighs do the work.
- Tired thighs: switch from lifting to rocking. Grinding takes far less effort and often feels just as good.
- Lube: use it generously. Seated angles can create more friction than you expect.
- Restraints or blindfolds: if you like adding bondage, agree on a safe word first. Keep ties loose enough to slip two fingers under, check hands for numbness or color changes, and never tie anyone to a chair that could tip over.
When the Face Off Isn't for You
- Knee, hip or lower-back pain: straddling stresses the knees and hips of the partner on top. If anything aches or twinges, switch to the side-lying variation or another position.
- Pregnancy: early on, many people find seated positions comfortable. As the bump grows, chest-to-chest contact gets awkward, so the lean-back or side-lying versions usually work better. If you've had complications or been advised to avoid sex, check with your healthcare provider first.
- Balance or mobility limits: a chair with a backrest set against a wall, or the edge of the bed, is safer than a free-standing stool. The side-lying version needs no balance at all.
- Pain during penetration: stop, add lube, go shallower, or stick with grinding. Pain is a signal to change something, not something to push through.
As with any position, use condoms or other barriers if you're not in a tested, agreed-upon relationship. Use water- or silicone-based lube with latex condoms.
Communication and Consent
Because you're face to face, this position makes checking in easy. You can see each other's expressions, and "slower?" or "like that?" can be whispered from inches away. Agree before you start on anything new, like toys, restraints or a different angle. Either of you can pause or stop at any point, and that's always fine. A simple hand squeeze can mean "all good," and a tap on the shoulder can mean "let's change something."
FAQ
Is the Face Off the same as Reverse Cowgirl?
No. In the Face Off you face each other. In Reverse Cowgirl, the partner on top faces away. If you turn around on the chair, you've switched to a seated reverse position, and that's a different experience with less eye contact.
How is it different from the Lotus position?
Lotus is usually done sitting cross-legged on the bed or floor. The Face Off uses a chair or the bed's edge, so the seated partner's feet are on the floor and their back is supported. For many bodies, that's easier on the hips.
Is it a good position for beginners?
Yes, as long as the seat is stable. The partner on top controls depth and speed, which makes it a good way to learn what feels right without much athletic effort.
