Facesitting positions, sometimes called queening or kinging, generally involve one partner sitting or kneeling over the other's face so that partner can receive oral sex or grinding stimulation from below. Most versions have the receiving partner lying flat on their back while the sitting partner supports their own weight on their knees, rather than resting full body weight on the other person's face. It's often part of dominance and submission play, but plenty of couples enjoy it simply for the closeness and control it offers, with no power dynamic attached at all. Below are 5 facesitting positions to try, plus the safety steps that make this one worth taking seriously.
1. Classic Facesit: The Easiest Facesitting Position
The partner underneath lies flat on their back with knees bent, while the sitting partner kneels over their face, facing the headboard so you can see each other, and lowers down while supporting most of their own weight on their knees and thighs.
Why try it: it's the easiest version to start with, and it gives the sitting partner good control over pressure and movement.
Careful if: the sitting partner has knee issues, since this position relies on the knees to bear weight.
2. Reverse Facesit
Same setup as the classic version, but the sitting partner faces toward the other partner's feet instead of the headboard, similar to a reverse-cowgirl orientation. This changes the angle of contact and gives the partner underneath a view of their partner's back.
Why try it: the different angle changes the sensation, and some people find it easier to grind at their own pace facing this way.
Careful if: communication is harder in this orientation since you can't see each other's faces, so agree on a stop signal before you start.
3. Sideways Facesit
The partner underneath lies on their side rather than flat on their back, and the sitting partner kneels or crouches over them at an angle, with one knee bracing on the bed for balance.
Why try it: it takes some of the direct weight and pressure off the partner underneath, which some people find more comfortable for longer sessions.
Careful if: either partner has hip or neck strain, since this angle asks for more active balancing than the classic version.
4. Standing Facesit
The partner underneath lies across a bed or couch with their head resting at the edge on a firm pillow, not hanging off, which strains the neck. The sitting partner stands at the edge, straddles their face, and bends forward, bracing their hands on the bed or a sturdy piece of furniture.
Why try it: the standing partner's legs carry the weight instead of their knees, which helps if kneeling is uncomfortable.
Careful if: balance is a concern, since the sitting partner needs something sturdy to hold onto and should never let their weight rest on the other person's neck or throat.
5. 69 Hybrid Facesit
The sitting partner kneels over their partner's face as in the reverse version, but leans forward to also give oral stimulation to the partner underneath at the same time, similar to a 69 position turned upright.
Why try it: it adds mutual stimulation to the position instead of it being one-directional.
Careful if: the sitting partner's weight shifts forward, since leaning down changes how much weight rests on the face below. Stay propped on your knees and forearms, not your full body weight.
How to Do Facesitting Positions Safely
Facesitting involves real breathing risk if it isn't done carefully, and that deserves clear, direct attention rather than a vague mention. The sitting partner should always support their own weight on their knees, never resting full body weight on the other partner's face. Never cover both the mouth and nose at the same time, and keep checking that your partner can breathe freely throughout. Agree on a non-verbal stop signal before you start, since the partner underneath may not be able to speak clearly: tapping the sitting partner's leg three times, or dropping a held object, both work well. If your partner taps, makes a distressed sound, coughs, or shows any sign of panic, get up immediately. Facesitting should never be combined with any other breath-restricting activity. Check in regularly, even mid-scene, and plan for aftercare afterward, a few minutes of closeness, water, and reassurance, especially after more intense sessions.
Facesitting Positions Comfort and Safety Tips
A pillow under the head of the partner underneath can help with neck comfort and breathing angle.
Take breaks if your legs get tired or shaky, since facesitting is more physically demanding for the sitting partner than it looks.
Good hygiene matters here, since facesitting can involve close contact and fluid exchange. A barrier like a dental dam can reduce the risk of STI transmission if that's a concern for you and your partner.
Stop and reposition at the first sign of discomfort, whether that's the sitting partner's knees, the other partner's neck, or any difficulty breathing.
Talking About It and Consent
Facesitting positions rely more on trust and clear signals than most positions, since the partner underneath often can't speak easily. A few phrases that help before you start:
"Want to try facesitting, and which position sounds good?"
"Here's our stop signal: three taps on my leg."
"Tell me if you need me to shift my weight."
"That felt great, thank you for trusting me with that."
Check in afterward too. Ask how it felt, whether the pressure or angle worked, and whether anything should change next time.
Facesitting Positions FAQ
Is facesitting safe?
It can be, as long as the partner underneath can always breathe freely and stop things with a non-verbal signal. The three basics are in the safety section above: self-supported weight, mouth and nose never both covered, and an agreed stop signal.
How do I position my knees during facesitting?
Keep your knees planted on either side of your partner's head, wide enough that your weight rests on your thighs and knees rather than dropping straight down. In the standing version, your feet do that job instead.
What's the easiest facesitting position for beginners?
The classic facesit is the simplest starting point, since it's the most straightforward to control and doesn't require balancing at an angle.
Can facesitting positions be adjusted for comfort?
Yes. Adding a pillow, shifting to the sideways facesit, or taking short breaks are all easy ways to make any of these facesitting positions more comfortable for both partners.
