The sideways missionary position is a face to face style built around lying on your sides instead of one partner flat on their back. Both partners lie on their sides facing each other, and the penetrating partner draws in close to enter from the front, essentially missionary tilted onto its side. People who like steady eye contact, a slower pace, and a position that takes weight off the arms and back tend to enjoy sideways missionary most, and it works well for longer sessions or times when a more upright position feels like too much effort.
How to Do the Sideways Missionary Position: Step by Step
Warm up first. A little foreplay helps you both relax and get comfortable before you settle onto your sides.
Lie down facing each other. Both partners lie on their sides, chests toward each other, close enough to reach comfortably.
Match your hip height. Scoot closer or further, and use a pillow under the lower hip if you need to line up more evenly.
Line up and enter slowly. Go slow at first and check the angle before either of you moves much.
Adjust your top leg. Draping the top leg over your partner's hip or thigh opens up the angle and lets you get closer.
Find your rhythm. Small, steady hip movements work better than big thrusts in this position, so ease into a pace you both like.
3 Sideways Missionary Sex Position Variations to Try
Splitting Distance. One partner leans their upper body back slightly instead of staying pressed close. It opens a small gap between you, which changes the angle and gives both partners a different view.
Crossed Legs. The top leg drapes fully over your partner's hip and tucks behind them instead of resting on top. It brings your hips closer together and can change how deep and how angled things feel.
Hard Hug. Both partners wrap their arms around each other and hold close while the hips do most of the movement. It trades range of motion for closeness, and a lot of couples like it for the intimacy.
Who the Sideways Missionary Position Suits and Who Should Be Careful
Sideways missionary tends to suit people who want face to face intimacy without the arm and shoulder work that regular missionary asks for, since neither partner has to hold themselves up. It is also a comfortable option later in pregnancy, when lying flat on the back is often discouraged, since both partners stay on their sides throughout. If you like the control and eye contact of a position like Cowgirl but would rather stay lying down and close together, sideways missionary can scratch a similar itch while asking less of your knees and thighs.
A few situations call for extra care. Either partner can end up with a pinned or twisted lower hip if you stay on the same side in the sideways missionary position for a long time, so shift positions or add a pillow under that hip if it starts to feel strained. Propping your head on a bent arm can also tire out your shoulder and neck after a while, so a pillow under the head takes some of that pressure off. If anything pinches, aches, or just feels off for either partner, that is your cue to adjust or stop, not push through it.
Sideways Missionary Sex Position Comfort and Safety Tips
A water-based lubricant can make the sideways missionary position more comfortable, especially while you are still finding the angle. Reapply as needed rather than waiting until things feel dry.
Go slow, especially the first few times. Since both of you are adjusting hip height and leg position at once, it takes a moment to find an angle that feels right, so ease in and check in as you go.
A pillow between the knees or under the lower hip helps a lot of couples hold the sideways missionary sex position comfortably for longer, and it takes pressure off the hip and lower back on the bottom side. Because at least one of your hands is usually free in this position, it is also an easy one to add a vibrator to for extra stimulation, if that appeals to you.
This is not the best fit for everyone. It can be uncomfortable for people with hip or shoulder problems, since one hip stays weighted for a while and one shoulder often supports some of your weight. Sideways missionary itself does not lower the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, so barrier protection such as condoms still matters exactly as it would in any other position. If you are switching between anal and vaginal contact, use a fresh condom or barrier and wash up in between, since moving from anal to vaginal contact is what raises infection risk, not the position itself.
Talking About It and Consent
A quick conversation before and during sex makes sideways missionary, or any position, better for everyone involved. A few phrases that work well:
"Want to try sideways missionary?"
"Is this angle working, or should we adjust?"
"Can we slow down a little?"
"That feels really good, keep going."
Since you are facing each other for most of this position, it is easy to check in just by watching each other's expressions, but it still helps to say something out loud rather than guess. Agree on a simple word or signal beforehand, something either partner can say or do without breaking the mood, so anyone can pause things at any point.
Sideways Missionary Position FAQ
Is the sideways missionary position good for beginners?
Yes. It does not require any special flexibility or strength, just a bit of communication about hip height and pace. Going slow at first works well for anyone trying it for the first time.
Do you need a pillow for sideways missionary?
You do not need one. A pillow under the lower hip mainly helps match your hip heights if one partner is taller, which makes lining up easier.
Is sideways missionary safe during pregnancy?
Many people use side-lying positions like this one throughout pregnancy, since neither partner needs to lie flat on their back. Comfort needs change as pregnancy progresses, so go slow and check with your doctor about what is appropriate for you.
How is sideways missionary different from regular missionary?
In regular missionary, the receiving partner lies flat on their back while the penetrating partner is above them. In sideways missionary, both partners lie on their sides facing each other, which takes the weight off the arms and lets both partners relax more into the position.
Can sideways missionary work if one partner has back pain?
It depends on which partner and how severe the pain is. Since neither partner needs to arch or hold themselves up, many people with mild back pain find the sideways missionary position more comfortable than regular missionary, but a pillow for support and a slower pace still help.
