The apex sex position is a standing, rear-entry position. The receiving partner bends forward from the hips and rests their upper body on a sturdy surface at about waist height, and the penetrating partner stands behind them. Bending forward tilts the pelvis, which changes the angle of entry and lets the standing partner set depth and pace easily. Below: how to get into it and out of it, the two things that usually go wrong, and when another position is the better choice.
A quick note on the name: sex position names aren't standardized, and "Apex" is described differently on different lists. This guide covers the most common version: standing, bent forward over a support.
How to Do the Apex Position Step by Step
- Pick a stable support. A solid kitchen counter, a heavy desk, a sturdy table or a high bed, roughly between hip and waist height. Skip anything with wheels or folding legs, and anything that can slide. Lean your full weight on it first. Check that the floor isn't slippery: bare feet grip better than socks.
- Receiving partner: bend from the hips. Stand facing the support with your feet hip-width apart, flat on the floor, and your knees soft. Lean forward and rest your forearms or hands on the surface. Aim for a long, fairly neutral spine rather than a deep sag in the lower back.
- Penetrating partner: line up behind. Stand close behind your partner in a wide stance with your knees slightly bent. Hands on your partner's hips help you both stay steady.
- Start slow. Use plenty of lubricant and enter gradually. Let the receiving partner guide the first few movements by rocking back. Once you've found a depth that feels good, the standing partner can take over more of the rhythm.
- Finish and exit gently. The penetrating partner withdraws slowly. The receiving partner straightens up gradually, pushing off with their arms, which helps avoid a head rush or a twinge in the lower back.
Why the Apex Position Works
- A different angle: Bending forward tilts the pelvis, so entry comes at a different angle than in kneeling rear-entry positions. How far the receiving partner bends changes where the pressure lands. For some people with a vagina that may mean more contact with the front wall, the area often called the G-spot. For some people with a prostate, it may mean more prostate stimulation. Bodies vary, so treat this as something to explore, not a guarantee.
- Precise control: With both feet on the floor, the penetrating partner has a stable base for adjusting depth, pace and angle. That's the reverse of a woman on top position, where the receiving partner leads the movement. Deeper isn't automatically better. The Upright Wall variation below is the shallower option.
- Easy setup: No kneeling, and no need to get down on the floor or even fully into bed.
The Two Things That Usually Go Wrong
1. Your heights don't match
This is the most common frustration. If your hips sit at different heights, someone ends up in a deep squat or on tiptoe, and both get tiring fast. Fix it with your feet, not the furniture: a higher or lower surface only changes how far the receiver bends, not where their hips are. If the penetrating partner is taller, they widen their stance and bend their knees more, or the receiving partner stands on a sturdy, non-slip step. If the receiving partner is taller, they widen their own stance to bring their hips down, or the penetrating partner uses the step.
2. Arms, wrists or lower back give out
Holding your weight on straight arms puts load on your wrists and shoulders, and a sagging back puts it on your lower back. Move the load onto the support: drop onto your forearms, or lower your chest onto the surface with a pillow underneath (see Bed-Edge Apex). Keep a slight bend in your knees and a gently braced core. Tingling, numbness or pain means it's time to change position, not to push through.
3 Apex Position Variations
- Bed-Edge Apex. The receiving partner stands at the edge of a high bed and lowers their torso onto the mattress, with a pillow under the chest. The mattress takes almost all the weight off the arms, which makes this the best version for beginners and anyone with wrist or shoulder trouble. A bed at roughly hip height works best. A very low bed means a steep bend.
- One Knee Up. The receiving partner rests one knee on a stable, lower surface, such as the edge of a bed or a sturdy ottoman, and keeps the other foot on the floor. This opens the hips and changes the angle. The standing leg works harder, so switch sides from time to time.
- Upright Wall Apex. Instead of a deep bend, the receiving partner stands more upright with their hands or forearms on a wall. Less bend means shallower penetration and more body contact, which helps if deep penetration feels like too much. It takes more balance, so the penetrating partner can wrap an arm around their partner's waist.
Who the Apex Position Suits and When to Skip It
It suits couples who enjoy standing positions, like the penetrating partner setting the pace, or want something quick without getting into bed. The receiving partner needs to be comfortable standing on both feet for a few minutes.
Modify it or skip it if you have:
- Wrist, shoulder or lower back pain: start with Bed-Edge Apex, and skip the position altogether if bending forward from the hips hurts.
- Balance problems, dizziness or knee pain (either partner): standing positions don't leave much margin for error, so a lying-down position is safer.
- Pain with deep penetration: use Upright Wall Apex or choose a different position.
If it doesn't suit your bodies, that's completely fine. Our lover's guide to sex positions has plenty of alternatives.
Comfort, Safety and Consent in the Apex Position
The receiving partner faces away, so the penetrating partner can't read their expression. Agree on a stop word before you start, plus a non-verbal signal such as two taps on the surface. Check in out loud more often than you would face to face: "Deeper or shallower?" is a perfectly good question. Either partner can stop at any time, whether from tiredness, cramp, numbness or simply not being in the mood, and no explanation is needed. Keep the space around you clear so you can both step away easily.
Apex Position FAQ
How is the Apex position different from doggy style?
In the Apex, both partners stand and the receiving partner's upper body rests on furniture rather than on hands and knees. That takes pressure off the knees but makes balance and matching heights matter more. It also gives the penetrating partner more room to adjust depth and angle.
Is the Apex position good for beginners?
Yes, especially the Bed-Edge version. The mattress carries the receiving partner's upper body, so balance is barely an issue. Once you know which stance lines up your hips, move on to a counter or desk.
Can you do the Apex position during pregnancy?
Often yes, as long as your clinician hasn't advised against penetrative sex. Rear entry keeps pressure off the belly, and the Bed-Edge version with the chest on pillows is usually easier than a deep, unsupported bend. Pregnancy shifts your balance and loosens your ligaments, so choose the supported version and stop if you have pain, bleeding or cramping.
What if deep penetration in the Apex position hurts?
Stop, then switch to a shallower variation or another position. Recurring or sharp pain with deep penetration is worth raising with a doctor, since conditions such as endometriosis or pelvic floor tension can cause it. Pain is a signal, not something to work through.
