The spit roast sex position is a threesome setup where the partner in the middle, usually on all fours, gives oral sex to the partner in front while receiving vaginal or anal penetration from the partner behind. It's intense, it takes some coordination, and it only works when everyone has talked it through first. Here's how to set it up so the middle partner stays comfortable, in control and genuinely into it.
How to Do the Spit Roast Position Step by Step
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Do a clothed dry run. Get into position with your clothes on and check three things: can the middle partner breathe easily, keep their neck long and hold the pose for a few minutes without their wrists or knees complaining? Fix any problems now with pillows, a firmer surface or a different height.
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Set up the middle partner first. They kneel on all fours on a firm mattress, knees hip-width apart, with a pillow under the knees and the option to drop onto their forearms. Everyone else builds around their comfort.
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Bring in the front partner at mouth height. The front partner kneels, or sits on a cushion, facing the middle partner, so their pelvis is level with the middle partner's mouth. The front partner keeps their hips still and their hands off the middle partner's head: the middle partner sets the depth and pace of oral, and can switch to hands or take a break at any point.
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Add the rear partner. The rear partner kneels behind and enters vaginally or anally, with a penis or a strap-on, resting their hands lightly on the middle partner's hips for stability. Use plenty of lube, and a lot more for anal.
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Build a rhythm slowly. The rear partner starts with small, shallow movements that gently rock the middle partner rather than shoving them forward. The middle partner leads: they can push back, pause the oral or ask for stillness. Only speed up once all three of you have the hang of it.
Why the Spit Roast Works: The Angle
The heights from steps 3 and 4 add up to a roughly level spine. In that straight line, motion from behind travels lengthwise through the body instead of bending the neck, and the arms absorb it. Set the target too high and you're craning upward; too low and your back sags.
The appeal is mostly about focus. The middle partner gets two people's full attention and two kinds of sensation at once, while the outer partners get a very visual, shared experience. If being the center of attention is what draws you, it's worth reading up on the two-on-one experience more generally.
Spit Roast Position Variations
Each version changes who carries the weight. For more ways to mix things up, see our lover's guide to sex positions.
Over the Edge of the Bed
Standing and bending over the mattress instead of kneeling spares the knees and most of the wrist strain, and the person behind can adjust height simply by bending their legs.
Reclined Front Partner
With the person receiving oral leaning back on a stack of cushions, the target sits lower, so the one in the middle can rest and relax their neck, which helps if they tire quickly.
Side-Lying
Everyone lies on their side, spooning from behind and head-to-toe in front, so nobody supports their own weight. It's the best option for joint pain, limited mobility or fatigue, though lining up takes some shuffling.
Who the Spit Roast Is Not For
- Knee, wrist, lower back or neck problems: the all-fours version can aggravate them. Try the side-lying or bed-edge version instead.
- Jaw pain (TMJ), a strong gag reflex or trouble breathing through the nose: the middle partner can use their hands instead of their mouth, or swap roles.
- Big height differences without adjustable furniture: finding the level line may not be realistic.
- Anyone who feels pressured rather than excited: if one person is mainly going along to please the others, skip it.
Spit Roast Comfort, Safety and Consent
Keep an eye on the middle partner's body: wrists collapsing, the lower back sagging or the jaw getting tired are all signs to add support, switch variations or take a break. Firm pillows work better than soft ones. The biggest risk is specific to this position: hard thrusts from behind push the middle partner's mouth forward, which can cause gagging or make breathing harder. Keep rear movement gentle during oral, or take turns.
Three people means more STI exposure, so talk about recent testing beforehand and use a barrier for every act: condoms for penetration and for oral on a penis, and a dental dam for oral on a vulva or anus. Use a new condom when switching partners or moving from anal to vaginal, and wash hands and toys between areas.
Talking About It and Consent
Before anything starts, agree on which acts are welcome (oral, vaginal, anal), what's off-limits, the pace and depth you want, and who leads. The middle partner's mouth may be busy, so agree on a non-verbal stop signal, like two firm taps on a thigh, and test it during the dry run. Anyone can pause or stop at any moment, whatever was agreed beforehand.
Afterwards, make time to clean up, drink some water and check in. Threesomes can stir up unexpected feelings, including jealousy or vulnerability, and talking them through openly is part of good communication in relationships.
Spit Roast Position FAQ
Is the spit roast position good for beginners?
It's better as a later step than a first threesome position. It takes coordination between three bodies, with oral and penetration happening at once. If you're new to group sex, start with the bed-edge or side-lying version, keep it short and agree that switching to something simpler is perfectly fine.
How is the spit roast different from the Eiffel Tower?
They're essentially the same position. "Eiffel Tower" is a nickname for the spit roast when the front and rear partners join hands over the middle partner's back, making a tower shape. It isn't double penetration, which is a different setup with two penetrating partners.
Can you do the spit roast during pregnancy?
Some people can, using the side-lying or bed-edge version, once their midwife or doctor has said yes. Avoid deep or vigorous thrusting and long stretches on the knees, and be especially careful with barriers, since some STIs can affect a pregnancy. Stop and get checked if there's pain, bleeding, cramping or dizziness.
What if it hurts or the middle partner gags?
Pause and change the setup instead of pushing through. Gagging usually means the oral is too deep or the rear partner is pushing the middle partner forward, so let the middle partner control depth and ask the rear partner to go shallower. Joint pain calls for more support or a gentler variation. Pain during penetration calls for more lube and less depth, or stopping, and sharp or lasting pain is worth getting checked.
