Sex Position 23 (Seated Yab-Yum): How to Do It + 3 Variations

"Sex position 23" isn't an official name. Numbers like this usually come from numbered position lists. On this page it means a seated, face-to-face position based on the classic yab-yum: one partner sits upright and the other sits in their lap, legs wrapped around their waist. It's slow and close, which makes it great for couples who want connection more than acrobatics.

It works for any combination of bodies. You can use it for vaginal or anal penetration (with a penis or a strap-on), or skip penetration entirely and simply grind and kiss. Since nobody is lying flat or holding their own weight up for long, it's a good choice when you want to see each other's faces and keep things unhurried.

How to Do Sex Position 23 Step by Step

Set up the base. Partner A sits on the bed or a firm, padded floor, either cross-legged or with legs loosely stretched out. A pillow under the sit bones tilts the pelvis forward and takes strain off the lower back.
Climb into the lap. Partner B straddles Partner A, facing them, and lowers down onto their lap. B then wraps their legs around A's waist or lower back, crossing the ankles behind A if that's comfortable.
Find your hold. Wrap your arms around each other's backs or shoulders. Partner A can support B's hips or lower back with their hands.
Line up and go slowly. If you're including penetration, take your time and let the receiving partner control how deep and how fast.
Rock, don't thrust. Big thrusting is hard in this position. The movement is a slow rocking or circular grind, with both partners swaying their hips together. That grinding also puts gentle, steady pressure on the vulva or perineum, and many people enjoy that more than depth.

Hands are free in this position, so either of you can add clitoral or penile stimulation by hand or with a small vibrator between your bodies.

3 Variations

1. Chair or Bed-Edge Version

Partner A sits on a sturdy armless chair or the edge of the bed with feet flat on the floor. Partner B straddles them, and B's feet can touch the floor or rest on the bed or chair edge. This is the easiest version for stiff hips or knees, because nobody has to sit cross-legged. Check that the chair can comfortably take both of your weights and won't tip or slide.

2. Lean-Back Version

Once you're settled, both partners lean back a little and prop themselves up on their hands behind them, holding each other's forearms or wrists if you like. The angle changes and you get a fuller view of each other. The cost is less full-body contact. Keep it short if your wrists or shoulders start to complain.

3. Supported-Back Version

Partner A sits with their back against the headboard, a wall, or a stack of firm pillows, legs stretched out or lightly bent. Partner B straddles as usual. This takes almost all the work off A's core and lower back, so you can stay longer, and it's the version to choose if the seated partner has back trouble.

Comfort Tips

Cushion the knees and pick a firm surface. A folded towel under the knees helps, and a firm surface is better than a soft mattress, which makes balancing harder.
Use lube generously. Use a water-based or silicone lubricant with latex condoms. Oil-based products weaken latex. Silicone lube can damage silicone toys.
Switch roles. If one partner is much heavier, the lighter partner on top is often easier. Try both ways and see what feels better.
Take breaks. Legs go numb in lap-sitting positions. Unwind, stretch, and come back, or move to another position. Nothing is "lost."
Protection still applies. Use condoms on penises and toys, and change them between anal and vaginal play. Dental dams work for any oral play beforehand.

When This Position Isn't for You

If knee, hip, or lower-back problems make even the chair or supported-back version uncomfortable, choose a different position. Stop right away if you feel sharp pain, pinching, or cramping, or if pins and needles don't go away when you shift. Pain during penetration means slow down, add lube, or stop. It doesn't mean push through.

In pregnancy, upright seated positions are often comfortable because nothing presses on the belly. A growing bump can make close face-to-face contact awkward, though, and the lean-back or supported-back versions usually help. If your pregnancy has complications, or your healthcare provider has advised against sex, follow their advice.

Communication and Consent

This position puts you face to face, so checking in is easy. Use that. Agree beforehand on what you both want to include, and settle on a simple word or tap that means "stop" or "pause." In the moment, short questions work best: "Slower?", "Deeper or like this?", "Want to switch?" Both of you can change your mind at any point, and that's completely fine.